"Excuse me?"

"Well why not just use some bum on the streets? Why deliberately go after an UNCLE agent? Surely they would know they'd be repercussions?"

"That's assuming they knew I was an UNCLE agent. Everything's still a little fuzzy."

"Oh they knew all right. You wouldn't be easy to take."

"Well, not necessarily."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," a red blush spread across the blondes' features, "sometimes a lucky punch…"

"Oh," Napoleon realised what the Russian was trying to say, he was often embarrassed by his tendency to get knocked out, by blows to the head. "What was the last case you were working on?"

"I was going over Professor Handel's findings, he thought he'd discovered…"

"Never mind. Lab work." Napoleon often found the Russian's longwinded explanations tiresome, and he had no wish to be lectured on some obscure scientific fact that he'd been delving into. "Are you sure you don't remember anything more about those scientists? Something they might have did or might have said…"

"Napoleon I spent most of my time drugged… wait… might have said… there was something… they said something about small packages being easier to transport. Does that help?"

"It might. Illya, say you wanted to kidnap a bunch of scientists for some reason and take them to your hideaway, but wanted to make them easier to transport, by turning them into children…"

"You'd have to make sure that the reduction in the size of the brain wouldn't effect memory or brain activity." He puzzled for a moment, then the realisation hit him. "My Ph.D. they wanted to make sure it wasn't going to harm their scientists…"

"It would also make it easier if anyone saw them. Who's going to question a parent with an unruly child or believe said child when he says he's an eminent scientist…"

"…Or a Russian Spy…" Illya added.

"So now we know why."

"Assuming you're right, where do we start looking?"

"Well, I'll see if any of our agents have turned up anything."

"You may want to check to see if any eminent scientists have turned up missing. Though not in the field of human Biology, those fellows who had me were unquestionably brilliant."

"And what will you be doing while I'm working?"

"I'll go back to the lab. At least there I'm still fairly useful."

Napoleon was nonplussed, he expected that the Russian would be eager to find out the results of any investigations.

"Illya."

"Yes?"

"I er just spoke with Mark." Napoleon said looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh?"

"Yes he er says you put him on report."

"That's right."

"So why did you?"

"He's incompetent," he snapped, "he should have found something by now."

"You know that's not true. Look at us, how many times have we lost every battle against the enemy and then ultimately won the war?"

"I lose count."

"Well what if Mr Waverly put us on report every time that happened? We'd be constantly on report."

"You're right Napoleon. I was being unreasonable. It's so frustrating, I feel useless and I'm taking things out on my friends. I'll apologise to Mark and take him off report."

"I er already did."

"You did what?" Illya was incredulous.

"I er took Mark off report." Napoleon felt suddenly very uncomfortable again.

"You overrode my authority?" Illya couldn't believe that Napoleon had shown him up in front of a subordinate. True over this particular issue he was wrong, but Napoleon should have allowed him to correct the situation not interfered the way he had.

Before things could go any further Waverly called them to his office.

"You're probably wondering why I brought you all in here."

"Well actually sir, I had, wondered that is."

"Indeed Mr Solo, I'm going to brief you all on a mission."

"With all due respect sir, I'm not really sure that Illya should be included in this."

"Mr Solo, it is essential for your cover that you fit in to your surroundings. You must appear to be a family. You and Ms Dancer will pose as husband and wife and Master Kuryakin will pose as your son."

"Er sir couldn't Mark pretend to be his father, I mean it's quite obvious looking at me and April that we aren't Illya's parents. At least Mark has Blonde hair and Blue eyes…"

"It's out of the question Mr Solo. I'm not going to pull agents from other assignments just so you can carry on with your dalliances with the opposite sex. Besides do you really think that Master Kuryakin will listen to two agents who are both his junior?

After the meeting had ended, Napoleon targeted her with his most seductive smile. She realised that it was useless to tempt fate, so she turned and fled before he could talk her into anything. The smile disappeared from Napoleon's lips at the same time as an amused smile formed on Illya's.

"Isn't tonight your date with Bambi?"

"No, it's Candy."

"Oh Candy. It sounds like something you eat."

"Yes she's very sweet. Very edible."

"I'll take your word for it."

"It looks like you won't have to. You'll meet her tonight."

"What's this we? You won't be doing any driving and I'm tired. Besides, how many families move house in the middle of the night?"

"I suppose it would be a bit suspicious. Anyway, if you're so tired why are you having a date?"

"It'll help to relax me. Besides, it's hardly a date, we can't exactly go anywhere, not with you here anyway. It'll just be a nice relaxing evening at home…"

"…with your six year old son."

Napoleon looked at the smile that had suspiciously formed on Illya's lips at the comment. "Illya you'd better not do anything to spoil…"

"I think this is the ideal opportunity for me to practise acting like a child." He was going to enjoy tonight. He was going to ruin Napoleon's date. He was going to get his revenge for the incident with Mark and he certainly wasn't going to forget the fact that Napoleon was enjoying himself while he was suffering the indignities of being a child.