As they made their way towards the CI5 lift, Bodie and Doyle argued whether to take it or use the stairs.

"We should take the stairs, we could do with the exercise."

"If we really wanted the exercise we'd be going up not down them Doyle."

"Yeah well I want to go home and I don't live on the roof."

"I want to go home too, Ray and I'm tired, I don't need anymore exercise today. Besides, it'll be quicker."

"Quicker? Not the way these lift's operate, mate." Doyle pressed the button and nothing happened.

"It's broken down." Bodie whined.

"Probably just the cleaners. Come on let's take the stairs."

He was about to go round the corner for the stairs when Bodie gave the button one more press, and the lift opened with a chime. "See it comes when I call it." He said with a smug self-satisfied grin.

"It must be frightening to weald that kind of power. I hope you only use it for good purposes."

"Yeah helping damsels in distress." They exchanged a look and a brief smile.

"Are you wanting to use the lift or were you just planning on gazing into each others eyes all day? Some of us want to get home you know." They looked into the lift and saw Susan, one of CI5's secretaries, standing impatiently.

Susan was due to start her maternity leave. She had wanted to stay to the end of her pregnancy if she wasn't having any problems that would require her leaving work, but finally the Cow had insisted. She was due to have her baby in eleven days. Bodie had organised a bookie as to whether the baby would be male or female. The odds were on it being male. Susan had told everyone that she'd used a Chinese Proverb that was ninety-eight percent accurate to determine the child was going to be male. Also almost all of the agents had sworn that they knew it was a boy from the way she was carrying the child. Doyle had placed his money on it being a girl, not that he expected it to be, but because if the child were female he was set to clean up. He would sometimes back the long shots at the horse races for the same reason.

They quite happily got in the lift beside the pregnant Susan, oblivious to what was going to happen.

They all stumbled a little as the lift ground to a halt, between floors.

After they'd both had numerous attempts at opening the doors, and pushing useless buttons, Bodie was given the task of calling the Cow for help. It was Ray's idea that he should be the one to call; and given that Ray was a bad tempered little sod at the best of times, Bodie had to agree with him. The Cow required delicate handling; something his partner seemed incapable of giving to authority figures.

"3.7 to Alpha, 3.7 to Alpha." Bodie wearily spoke into the RT.

"Alpha one. Where are you?" Asked a somewhat annoyed voice.

"We're still in the C I bloody 5 headquarters, we got stuck in the lift when we tried to leave."

"The lift Bodie? It'd have been faster to have taken the stairs." Bodie heard the almost jovial tone in his bosses' voice, leading him to believe that his boss was experiencing amusement at their predicament. Bodie felt put upon.

"Yes sir, I suppose it would. But we didn't expect that budget cuts would have been this bad that you couldn't have the lift serviced regularly." Bodie decided to get his own back for his bosses' good humour.

"Ah that's enough Bodie," Cowley broke in to the tirade, "the money goes where it's needed."

"Yeah well right now it needs to pay for a lift engineer. Could you arrange for someone to come and get us, sir?"

"Aye Bodie leave it to me. It could be a while though. I expect the lift engineer will be at home by now."

"Yes sir."

"Alpha one out."

Doyle, who had been speaking quietly to Susan and decidedly not paying attention to Bodie's conversation with the old man, looked up when Bodie stopped talking. "What did the old man say?"

"He said it'd have been quicker to take the stairs."

"How long is it going to take?"

"He just said it might be a while."

"We'll be stuck here for the night then."

"You mean that's it?" Susan broke in somewhat annoyed, "I thought you were CI5's top agents. You mean you're just going to wait here all night?"

"Well what d' you expect us to do?" Doyle quizzed.

"I don't know. You're supposed to be the hotshots. Why ask me?"

"I don't think I can put up with a whole night of her bloody mood swings Ray. At work, is bad enough, but at least I can walk away if they get too bad." Bodie whispered confidentially to Doyle. "They're worse than yours."

"I do not have mood swings." Doyle replied indignantly.

"Yes you do. You're a right moody little sod at times. Of all the people I could be stuck in the lift with, you and her have got to be the worst."

"May I take this opportunity to remind you who is responsible for landing us in this predicament in the first place. If not for you we'd be home by now."

Bodie resigned himself to the fact that, being the cooler headed one, he was going to have to calm everyone down, or he was going to spend the whole night arguing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Ray you are a sweet-tempered young maiden and I am just a big mean lout." The image of that set everyone laughing and succeeded in mending frayed tempers.

Bodie and Doyle decided to sit down and wait it out. Susan examined the floor and remained standing.

"What? You not feel like sitting down?" Bodie asked, suddenly curious.

"No it's just it doesn't look very comfortable or clean. I have to be careful about germs and stuff now."

"Doyle sling your coat down for Susan."

"What?"

"For her to sit on."

"Was your idea. You sling your coat down for her."

"This is a designer label mate," he said indicating his coat.

"Who says this isn't?" He asked speaking his own attire.

Bodie gave him a look, "Doyle I know where you shop. They don't sell designer labels at Oxfam."

"Sod-off Bodie." Doyle said, feeling picked on and beginning to get annoyed again.

"Doyle…"

"Oh alright." Then turned his attention to Susan, "There you go Miss Susan," he said politely.

"There's a good Golly."

"Don't push your luck Bodie."

"Keep your hair on." He said giving the hair in question a quick ruffle, "Besides, where would I sod-off to? Up the bloody lift-shaft?"

"Might not be a bad idea."

"Eh?"

"Well she's ready to pop at any moment you know." He said conspiratorially.

"What difference does that make?"

"I've had experience with this sort of thing."

"What sort of experience?" Bodie asked with interest and for lack of anything better to do.

"While I was in the Met I had to deliver a couple."

"Forget the police Doyle, you should have been a Midwife."

"Should've been a doctor. I had a cousin went to medical school and I used to read his books."

"Look at the dirty pictures more like it, you randy old toad." Bodie said with affection.

"Wasn't any dirty pictures." Doyle denied.

"Good job you didn't though. You'd've been Doctor Doyle. It sounds terrible."

"That's not so bad. My cousin told me about a doctor he knew called Dr Death."

"You're putting me on."

"No s'true."

"I bet he wasn't very popular with patients."

"He used to pronounce it Deeth, like in Heath."

"Still spelt the same way though isn't it?"

"Yeah I suppose."

"So you've got a cousin who's a doctor?"

"Yeah, Huw Evans. He works down at the local hospital."

"Ray just sit down and relax. You're just making yourself tired." Not to mention that he was making Bodie feel tired just watching him pace around the lift.

"I can't just sit around here, I've got to do something."

"Yeah I know but there's nothing we can do in here. Anyone would think you had ants in your pants or something. You gotta stay cool like me."

"Cool? And what's with you pushing the lift buttons every ten minutes?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"It's useful, productive and could very well get us unstuck and out of here. Pacing like a caged animal won't do anyone any good. Besides, the Cow'll make you buy a new one if you wear out the carpet."

"What the hell are they doing out there?"

"Ray calm down." Knowing there was some truth in what Bodie was saying Doyle crouched down once again on the carpet. Leaning against the wall opposite Susan with his feet splayed and wrists resting on his knees, Susan got an excellent view of Doyle's crotch. Not that she was interested in that sort of thing of course.

Ray looked up as Bodie started fiddling with the lift buttons once again. It was getting on his nerves. He looked down at his watch, it was the sixth time that hour and they were still trapped. If he was honest with himself it wasn't Bodie keep pressing the buttons that annoyed him. It was the fact that it hadn't made the slightest bit of difference and they were still well and truly trapped.

Doyle felt like stretching his legs. He rose once more to his feet and began circling the lift as though he expected an exit to appear that he hadn't noticed before. Bodie felt like slugging him. Ray was getting on his nerves.

In fact they were both getting on each other's nerves. Trapped in a small enclosure their differences became more apparent and the stress of being caged made them increasingly more edgy with each other. Not only were they getting on each other's nerves, but they were also getting on Susan's nerves and she decided that she would only have daughters. Ray launched himself at the doors giving them a swift kick and trying to prize them open. Bodie pulled him off; he would only end up hurting himself. Ray didn't look too happy at Bodie's intervention, but he slid down the lift wall, once more to sit opposite Susan. And Susan sat quietly enjoying the view.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with T."

Bodie looked around. "There's nothing in here that begins with T mate."

"Sure there is… a telephone."

"Why didn't you say something earlier Doyle we could have phoned for help."

"Already called the Cow didn't we? On the R/T, besides the telephone doesn't work. Nothing in CI5 bloody works. It's all cutbacks these days. I tell you what one of these days these cutback's'll get somebody killed."

"Doyle stop getting maudlin, you haven't even had a beer."

"Yeah well I'd've been killed when I got that stoppage if you hadn't have been there." It was still a sore point with both of them, that Ray had almost been killed over a faulty weapon.

Bodie didn't like to dwell on it too much. "Well I was there wasn't I? Guarding your back."

"Well one day you won't be there, will you?"

"Doyle stop it. It's bad medicine. Besides you're depressing Susan."

"Oh for goodness sakes you two," she broke in, "just kiss and make up and let that be the end of it."

"You what?" Bodie and Doyle said in shocked unison.

"Oh you're going to try and deny it now, are you? Everyone in the whole headquarters knows you're involved, so don't even try pretending it isn't true."

"But it isn't true." They both denied.

Susan looked entirely unconvinced. "Oh please. How dumb do you think people are? You're always gazing into each other's eyes and feeling each other up. It makes some people a bit uncomfortable, there's many a time I've heard people saying you should leave it in the bedroom. I mean most straight couples aren't at it in public as much as you two are."

They both decided she was having them on. Susan had been noted for her strange sense of humour and she'd been known to be the instigator in several practical jokes.

They sat in silence for a while and then Doyle spoke up. "The old man's taking a long time with that rescue isn't he?"

"Maybe it's all some test."

"A test?"

"Yeah, you get three people trap them in a lift and see how they react." Bodie elaborated, "The queen of cybernetics'll be sitting watching us on a security monitor somewhere and taking down notes."

"Maybe you should call the Cow again."

"Why me?"

"Well I'd only end up shouting at him and he seems to let you get away with more than anyone else."

"Yeah well it's my sunny disposition. Works wonders with bosses, the elderly, women and children." Bodie replied smugly.

"More like the way you lick 'is boots. His shoes are always shiny with you around." Doyle's mouth curled almost into a smile and his eyes sparkled with good humour as he teased his friend.

"Will you two give it a rest? Honestly you're like a couple of children." Susan said annoyed.

The two CI5 agents looked at each other and decided to have a bit of fun. "He started it," said Bodie in a childish tone.

"Did not," replied Doyle in an equally childish tone.

Bodie was about to come back with a 'Did too,' when he was beaten to it by Susan's small cry of pain. They were both over at her side in an instant.

"What is it?" Bodie asked urgently.

"It's started."

"What has?" He asked again, looking at Doyle he saw that he was aware exactly what had started, and began to get an inkling as to what it was himself. He had the feeling that he wasn't going to like it.

He was right. He didn't like it. "You're hurting my hand, you're hurting my hand. Ray get her off me."

"What a big boy like you needing rescuing from a little girl like that?"

"Yeah well, she's stronger than she looks."

Doyle looked back down at his watch and resumed the timing of Susan's contractions. After another contraction and another complaint from Bodie that the girl was crushing his hand, Doyle experienced a moment of worry. "Uh oh."

Bodie looked up from gazing at his bruised hand, 'Uh oh' did not sound too promising to him. "What d'you mean uh oh?"

Ray hadn't meant to voice his concern out loud and was a little startled when Bodie mentioned it, "S'nothing."

"Ray?"

"You know how those contractions were eight minutes apart?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well, now they're four minutes apart."

"What? And you call that nothing?" Bodie asked incredulous, "What happened to seven, six and five?"

"Guess we just skipped 'em."

"What d'you mean skipped them? Them's crucial minutes. How can we just skip 'em?"

"Look if they'd been important they would 'ave been there, wouldn't they?"

"How am I supposed to know, you're the one who's done this before. Listen, are you sure you did it right?"

"I can count Bodie."

"Okay I'd better contact Alpha One again and get him to hurry up getting someone to get us out of here."

"You okay love?" Ray gently asked Susan.

"Oh yes I'm bloody marvellous. This is exactly how I wanted to spend my labour, trapped in a lift with a pair of CI5 agents."

"You should think yourself lucky we're here at all." Bodie called from across the lift, having managed to escape the hand crushing Susan. "If I'd listened to Ray we'd have used the stairs and you'd have been in here all by yourself and you wouldn't have been able to contact anyone either."

"How do you know? The lift was working perfectly before you got in; it might have been the extra weight that broke it. I might have been home by now or on my way to the hospital with my partner and not talking with a pair of clowns."

"Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Why does she keep insulting us?" He asked with a small hurt tone.

"Oh that. Well normally they like to lash out at their partner, but as he isn't here, we're getting the brunt of it. Still, I was surprised at Susan going on like this, she always seemed like a sweet-natured girl. Before she became pregnant that is."

She looked at the two men and realised she was being a bit hard on them, they were after all trying there best to deal with the situation, and she was glad she wasn't going through it alone. "I'm sorry. It hurts and I'm scared."

"I know you are. But don't worry. These aren't ideal conditions, but if the worst comes to the worst, we'll be able to deliver your baby. You can rely on Doctor Doyle and Nurse Bodie."

Luckily rescue came quickly after that and Susan was delivered safely to the hospital. Her partner arrived shortly after and the matter was taken completely out of Bodie and Doyle's hands, somewhat to their relief.

They settled into a couple of hospital chairs to wait for further news of the delivery. They hadn't been waiting long when Doyle heard a familiar voice. "Why if it isn't bloody Ray Doyle."

Doyle looked up at the figure of his cousin ambling towards him, too late to hide, he decided. "Hello Huw. Bodie, this is the cousin I was telling you about Huw Evans. Huw, this is my partner Bodie."

They exchanged pleasantries. "So he's the partner you were telling us about. I thought you didn't like him?"

"Yeah well that was a long time ago. We're mates now."

"What did you tell him about me Ray?" Bodie interrupted.

"I'll tell you later." Doyle neatly evaded the question, having no intention of discussing it later with Bodie.

"So what're you doing here? One of your CI5 boys get hurt?"

"Nah, brought a pregnant bird in here earlier. I don't suppose you could find out how she is?"

"A pregnant bird eh? Well we don't deal with birds here, should've took her to the vet." Seeing both men glaring at him Evans continued hastily, "I'll try and find out. Does the girl have a name?"

"Yeah Susan."

"What's her surname?"

"Bodie what was Susan's last name?"

"I don't know. It's just Susan the secretary."

"You mean she didn't tell you? I thought you had the full names of all the CI5 women in a little black book. You mean you never dated her?" He asked with a grin, "You must be losing your touch old son."

"Yeah well I didn't try. She already had a partner when she started working at CI5." Bodie elaborated.

"What time was she brought in?" Evans broke in, he was tired, it was near the end of his shift, and he sensed he would be here all night if he didn't get the conversation back on track.

"About ten o'clock." Doyle replied glancing at his watch to aid his memory.

They returned to their seats to wait.

Upon seeing Evans entering the waiting room a while later, Bodie leapt to his feet and asked, "What's happened?"

"We're sending her home."

"Already? What is it? A boy or a girl?"

"She's not having it tonight."

"Eh?"

"The contractions are erratic and she isn't dilated enough. I reckon it'll be sometime tomorrow. We've told them to come back in when she's having four every ten minutes."

"You mean that's it? After all the trouble we went through?"

"That's babies for you Bodie. They're always unpredictable. We can't force them to come. Well we can but we only do that when they're overdue. What do you expect us to do?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to see it come into the world I guess."

"Never mind man. You can always come back tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure Cowley'll like that."

"Yeah well the Cow can do the other thing, can't he?"

"Ray can I have a word in private."

"Okay what is it?" He asked once they were out of ear-shot.

"What's so special about seeing this baby born?"

"We've got a bet on at CI5, Bodie's got his money on it being a boy. I also think he was upset because I told him I'd delivered a couple of babies while I was on the Met."

"You never told me that."

"Yeah well it never actually happened. I did a few first aid courses and read a few books. What was I gonna tell him and Susan? Oh by the way none of us knows what we're doing. What kind of panic would I have caused then?" He reasoned.

"I see your point."

"Ah well, I'd best get Bodie home. Honestly, he's worse than a kid at Christmas."

The next day Bodie and Doyle returned to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting hospital. "Has she had it yet?" Bodie asked impatiently, when he spotted Dr Evans.

"No, we only broke her waters half an hour ago. You'd better sit yourselves down and prepare for a long wait." Evans replied amused by Bodie's impatience.

Bodie and Doyle were sitting sleeping in a couple of waiting room chairs by the time Evans returned with any news of the delivery. Doyle had his head resting on Bodie's shoulder.

Evans noted the picture of blissful contentment and tip-toed up to them. He leaned in close towards them and then shouted, "WAKE UP." Their startled reaction was everything he could have hoped for.

Bodie looked at his jacket where Doyle had been leaning, "Hey, you dribbled on me."

"Did not." Replied Doyle, also looking at the spot.

"Did too."

"Did not."

Evans realised that this could go on all night if he didn't say something, "Hey children, be quiet a minute." He paused a moment for effect, "It's a girl."

"Eh? What d'you mean a girl?" Bodie asked with surprise.

"Well sort of the opposite of a little boy." Evans replied.

"It also means I win, so pay up. And don't worry sunshine, I'll tell you all about the birds and bees later." Doyle said whilst dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"That's not what I meant. What about the Chinese Proverb that was ninety-eight percent accurate and all those people telling her it was a boy?"

"Beat the odds then didn't she?"

"But…"

"I told you, babies are unpredictable."

They'd managed to sneak in to visit mother and child even though they weren't supposed to. Having a relative on the hospital staff and their CI5 ID's were both very useful in providing them with access. As they waved goodbye to Evans, Ray said, "See you Saturday."

"What you doing on Saturday, Ray?" Bodie asked nosily.

"Me and Evans was going out for a drink. You know talk over old times maybe chat up a few birds. Why do you wanta come?"

"Sure, I'd love to." They then got into their Ford Capri and sped off home.

The End

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