She’s My Sin                                                      By Nadja Lee                                     08/12/01

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie

Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

Romance: Scott/Kitty

Summary: Scott thinks about Kitty and his feelings for her.

Archiving: Want, ASK, take,  have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@post10.tele.dk.

Rating: PG-13

Sequel/series: Comparison piece to “More Than That”. Part 3 in “Forbidden Love” series that started with ”More Than That” followed by “Tell Him”.

Dedicated to Leah with love and thanks. And, of course, to Sorcieré. You’re *my* sin, babe, and I love you for it *G*

Part 1:

When I enter class and see her sitting there, smiling so sweetly at me, my heart starts to beat faster in my chest and I have to stop myself from going to her and take her in my arms.

I know I shouldn’t feel this, I know it’s wrong but fact is…I’m in love with a student and not just any student, a minor. This is wrong. I shouldn’t feel this. I try not to. She’s only 17 but to me she’s the word’s most beautiful woman. Her eyes, her hair, her lips…her image haunts my day and plagues my night.

She came to the school two years ago. I noticed her at once. Not just because of her beauty for she was beautiful even then but because of her golden heart. I’ve never met a girl as sweet and caring as she. She seemed too good, too pure to be real. I feared to touch her in fear she’ll break like fragile crystal and disappear. But she didn’t disappear. She stayed. She stayed…. and I fell in love. I broke a teacher’s most sacred rule; never ever fall for a student.

I know it’s wrong, God, I know it…but I can’t help it. I can’t stop my feelings. No matter what I’ll always love her. Nothing can destroy that and nothing can change that. In class she shows her brilliance, her skills and every time she answers correctly I feel so proud. I give her top grades because in my classes, mathematics and physics, she’s my best student. But even if she wasn’t…I doubt I could ever give her below a B. And I know that’s why a teacher should never love a student.

 

I remember when Jean let her fail her class. I was furious. I talked with Kitty and she was so down and sad that it cut my heart like a knife had been stuck into it. I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Instead I promptly left for Jean’s office. I had to contain myself from blasting her door open as I entered and demanded an explanation. Jean had looked strangely at me and said she needed to know what she had to explain first. I told her she had let Kitty fail her class. I told her how brilliant, amazing and wonderful she was…in so high tones that Jean had ached an eyebrow questionably at me. I hurried to end my complain by saying that she couldn’t let Kitty fail. That I wouldn’t allow it. Jean had looked shocked at me and icily told me it was none of my concern but since I insisted on being so annoying she would show me why she let her fail. And Jean showed me Kitty’s rapports. Jean teaches English literature and as I read through Kitty’s reports I saw that she suffers from severe dyslexia. I was sad that she had never told me, I was mad at Jean for failing her for it and inside I was glad to know this because that meant that Kitty would need me, really need me. Jean is a modern woman, she can do everything herself and though I praise myself for being a modern man…I need a woman who needs me. I tried to argue on Kitty’s behalf but I could see that letting her pass would be unfair to the others and wouldn’t help her. So I was forced to let it go.

Two years…two years and my love for her have still not faded. I fear it never will. Loving her is the sweetest torture I’ve ever experienced but I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.

I know I shouldn’t love her, shouldn’t think of her, shouldn’t desire her but I can’t stop… I try to but I can’t. I’ve made up my mind to break up with Jean. It’s unfair to us both that we should stay together when my heart will always belong to another…no matter how forbidden she is to me.

It’s strange to think that someone so pure and innocent, so much an Angel in everything she does…can be my greatest sin for my sin she is. She’s always on my mind and for her I’ll go through Hell. For her I’ll go to Hell. For her I’ll break every commandment, every rule. For her I’ll break my word, I’ll lay down my life, I’ll go through fire and ice…there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

I wish to tell her this. I long for her in my arms, I long for the taste of her sweet kisses. But I mustn’t say anything. I mustn’t let her know my feelings. She can never know. Never. If I told her she’ll feel obligated to say she returns my affections, she’ll feel trapped; pushed into something she doesn’t wish for. And God knows I’ll rather die than hurt her.

 

So…she must never know.

 

Never.

 

The End