| Now you may be wondering just who the hell are the guys on the right. Read on and all will be revealed! We actually arrived on Virgin trains ON TIME - actually a couple of minutes early. When we reached the hotel we had our first disappointment of the weekend - some tiles had come off the side of the pool walls and it would be closed until the next morning. It was so hot as well we were really looking forward to cooling down. Instead we hit the bottle! The last time we were there, Jon had told us to come down and find him between shows or to leave my mobile number with someone so he could tell us where to meet him etc. As I've kept in touch with Andy he passed my number on a couple of days previous so we expected to hear from Jon at the end of the matinee. We headed down to the pier to meet up with Andy and wait for Jon. The weather was so nice we sat around soaking up the sun for a while before the end of the show. When the show was over there was no sign of Jon and no word so we decided we had better things to do and went off to cool down in the sea. At the end of the pier we spied this gang of nutters and I couldn't resist gathering them all together for this photo. |
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We both decided it was time to hit the beach. I rolled up the jeans and headed for the water. Felt like a big kid again until a wave came in and soaked me!! We had only been there a few minutes when my phone went off. Before I managed to retrieve it from my bag it stopped. Then Jen's started ringing so we thought it was Andy...........how wrong can you be? Well that's what came up on the screen! It was Jon asking where we were and to come back up on the pier for a while. He was using Andy's phone as the cleaners had thrown my number away - original if nothing else! We spent a while chatting and had these dodgy photos taken. I look like something the cat dragged in but hey, I'm on vacation and don't give a ****. I seem to remember Jen coming out with a classic....."Jon, have you shrunk?" Poor thing was speechless for once. Judging by the photo below I don't actually thing he had as we both had no shoes on and he's still a fair bit taller than me. Only just noticed that!! Note the bright red face I'm sporting!! AND it got worse after even more sun! Now you know why I only visit Texas in the Fall. Jon did get Jen back for that little comment. She told him she had been on vacation for a week and he asked if it rained all week then saw Jen's face and realised she didn't tan - LOL!! |
| Jon left for the show and we.........well we sort of hit the bar once again before leaving to get changed for a night on the town!! We eventually left the hotel and had a look around numerous places in the centre, only to end up back at the pier (we love that bar). We didn't realise the time and were talking to Rich (he'd rescued a little pigeon from the sea and had it in a little box) when Jen saw his Lordship walking towards us. We bid him goodnight and........you guessed it........hit the bar!! Well what else did you think we were going to do at that time? We were supposed to have been going for a Chinese meal with Andy the next day for my Birthday but couldn't face it as Trish should have been coming down to join me. Andy suggested we take a boat cruise and introduced us to Peter and his wife who ran the cruises. We arranged to meet down at the pier before 10:30 sailing and had yet another couple of drinks. We stopped at the end of the pier chatting to Rich and staring at a fantastic full moon. I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep (full moon kills my sleep pattern). We eventually walked back up the hill to our hotel. Much easier coming down than it is going up, especially after a gallon of booze! I don't think anybody really expected us to turn up on time the next day - WRONG!!!! |
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By the way, Jen had promised to moon at everybody through the hotel window when we got back. Said she couldn't let me beat her and she was going to do it this time!! Er...If she did I blinked and missed it!! Next morning we were in the pool for 07:30. Great cure for a hangover. The hot tub did the trick and after breakfast we headed off down to the pier yet again. It would have been easier to pitch a tent on that pier for the amount of time we spent on it. This time it was bottled water - no alcohol in sight. They did have a bar on the boat but I stuck to the water and the sun screen. Wow, it was hot again but the breeze out at sea was fantastic. As you can see from the photos below we were soon at home on that boat. To be honest I had visions of hanging over the side the whole two hours and I never used to travel very well on water, much as I love to try. The scenery was fantastic - not the views of the land - the views of the tasty men out on the jet ski's were enough to take my breath away! We even had some talent on the boat - very nice legs!! The rest of him was pretty tasty too. Nearly died though when he wished me happy birthday over the mike and even announced my age to the whole bloody boat! Someone will burn in hell for this one of these days...Andy!! Still, I don't care. I'm not going to get any younger so I may as well get used to the idea. |
| By the time the cruise was over we had decided we were coming back for a week next year and doing it all again. We left Andy at the pier and went off to get changed. By this time it was so hot we couldn't even be bothered getting changed and went back down to the pier much the same as when we left it. Guess where we headed first? You're learning fast. That's when we met the Canadian barman - neither of us can remember his name. Ivan was off for the day and Andy was coming to the show with us. Andy had a round behind the bar for us and came to join us before the show. The place was pretty quiet but I would love to have seen Jen's face when Jon walked on stage. She nearly fell off her seat at one point. He did look a state though and had the most irritating voice all the way through. He had warned us but it was hard to imagine! The rest of the cast were really good and the landlady was a right cow!! Bet she plays a mean villain in panto and if she doesn't she should. After the show we went back into the bar thinking Jon would shoot off as he always does. We had seen him the day before and didn't bother hanging around to see him again. We had planned on having the one drink then heading off into the town for a meal in Pizza Hut. About 15 minutes later Jon comes into the bar and asked us to go up to KFC for him whilst he finished something off in the theatre |
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What he really meant was "I can't be arsed getting dressed so will you go for me?" He said he had been shouting us from the roof!! As if we would have heard him with the noise of the bar. Did he really think we would be standing around the stage door when the bar was only a few feet away? Aw come on Jon you should know better than that by now. He said he would look out for us coming back or we should shout up to him and he would come down. I think we said something like "What should we shout - get your arse down here Morris?" or something like that!! Anyway we headed off to KFC but stopped at the end of the pier. At last I had found God - sporting trainers and a pair of red shorts!! That man was gorgeous and was in a volley ball team that were playing finals on the beach. Oh yes, Bournemouth sure has some sights. None finer than this perfect specimen. We suddenly realised what we were supposed to be doing and headed off again. I was craving this pizza but after queuing in KFC decided I would risk the chicken - BIG MISTAKE!!!!! |
| On the way back along the pier I had to pay God a final visit. I knew he would be gone by the time we returned and had to make the most of the final viewing!!!! Have you ever heard the expression 'Shit hot'? Well that's exactly what he was and I kept turning back as I was walking along. It's a wonder Jon got any munchies at all as I had visions of me sailing through the air after tripping up and dropping the lot over the side of the pier. Poor Jon was stood by the theatre waving to get our attention - sorry I was a little distracted to say the least. Anyway we eventually made it and sat out in the sun (as if I wasn't red enough). If I'm being honest I could have just closed my eyes and slept for the next few hours and I was absolutely shattered by this time. We had this bizarre conversation then Jon had to leave to go to this charity function he was attending and speaking at a bit later. Would you believe he left all his rubbish for us to move?! OK here we go again. Jen collects trophy number two as pictured below. |
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She just can't resist the temptation to come away with a souvenir of the poor man. She even drank the remainder of the coke - well it's better than what she did last time. We sat there for some time and I even ventured to eat some of that horrendous chicken - mistake number 2!! Even the bloody seagulls wouldn't touch it and they eat anything..... usually. We decided to get changed and go for a swim in the sea but by the time we got back to the hotel I was feeling pretty sick and didn't think I was going to make it out at all. Anyway, after a trip to the bathroom we decided to try the pool at the hotel and found we were the only people in there. That was so nice - we were hopping from hot tub to pool and back for ages until I started to feel ill again. As it was our last night we decided to go hit the beach yet again - complete with our own booze this time! Jen was way in front of me by this time. I went to the edge of the sea again and collected a few pebbles. Can't remember if Jen actually got her feet wet this time. Anyway we then decided to sit on some steps and get totally wrecked just listening to the sea and the amusement arcade behind us. We would have stayed there all night if these two nerds hadn't thought of joining us - trust us!! By the way, only one of the bottles in hand was mind - honest!! The other one went down rapidly after the last photos of the night were taken. |
| Deciding we were sick of the nerds we left and saw Rich
at a bar on the way back to the pier. We said our goodbyes and warned him
we would return the following year to continue what we had started!! It's
possible Jon may be back there again next year so we will be going for the
whole week - don't expect me to type a weeks worth up though! You can have
the highlights only next time. On the way back to the hotel we walked
through the gardens which were all lit up real pretty. We walked past this
guy with a girl and suddenly heard "Are you ignoring me now?".
It was our Canadian friend from the bar on a night out. We chatted for a
while and went off back to the hotel. On the way we stopped off to say
hello to my cute little mate in the kebab shop up the road. Talk about
gorgeous!! He was so very nice - Portuguese I think and real fit!! Hope
he's there next year.
Well there you have it! Two crazy days in Bournemouth and I swear Trish was around making sure I had the best Birthday in a long time - Luv ya girl! |
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